Joke of the Day!

[Kirk Reiser]

A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband,
although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town
and party with his old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going, Sweetness?" asked the wife. "I'm going to the
bar, Pretty Face," he answered. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to
the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from
12 different countries: Germany , Holland, Japan , India , etc.

The husband didn't know what to do! , and the only thing that he
could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar... You
know... they have frozen glasses... "

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted
him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a
huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chill
in her hand.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at
the bar they have those hors d'oeuvre s that are really
delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvre s, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and
took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvre s: chicken wings, pigs
in blankets, mushroom caps, and little quiches.

"But my sweet baby... at the bar.... you know there's swearing,
dirty words and all that..."

"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP CHICKEN SHIT! SIT YOUR
ASS DOWN, SHUT THE FUCK UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND
EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRE S, BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A
DAMNED BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER, GOT IT, ASSHOLE?"

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HAPPY VALENTINE'S.