the new bull

Kirk Reiser kirk at
Fri Mar 9 08:28:29 EST 2001

Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to
bring yet another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a
discussion among them.

First Bull: "Boys, we all know I've been here 5 years. Once we settled
our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be
mine. Now, I don't know where this newcomer is going to get HIS cows,
but I aint' givin' him any of mine."

Second Bull: "That pretty much says it for me, too. I've been here 3
years and have earned my right to the 50 cows we've agreed are
mine. I'll fight 'im till I run him off or kill 'im, but I'M KEEPIN'

Third Bull: "I've only been here a year, and so far you guys have only
let me have 10 cows to "take care of". I may not be as big as you
fellows (yet) but I am young and virile, so I simply MUST keep all MY

They had just finished their big talk when an eighteen-wheeler pulls
up in the middle of the pasture with only ONE ANIMAL IN IT: the
biggest Son-of-Another-Bull these guys had ever seen! At 4700 pounds,
each step he took toward the ground strained the steel ramp to the
breaking point.

First Bull: "Ahem...You know, it's actually been some time since I
really felt I was doing all my cows justice, anyway. I think I can
spare a few for our new friend."

Second Bull: "I'll have plenty of cows to take care of if I just stay
on the opposite end of the pasture from HIM. I'm certainly not looking
for an argument."

They look over at their young friend, the 3rd bull, and find him
pawing the dirt, shaking his horns, and snorting.

First Bull: "Son, let me give you some advice real quick. Let him have
some of your cows and live to tell about it."

Third Bull: "Shit, he can have ALL my cows. I'm just making sure he
knows I'm a bull!"

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