hell

[Kirk Reiser]

Bill Clinton dies and is on his way to Hell. At Hell's
gates he meets Satan. Satan tells Clinton that Hell
is full, but that Clinton will be replacing one of the
current inhabitants. Clinton will be given the choice
of who he will replace forever in Hell.

Three doors appear before Clinton.

The first door opens. Behind it is Newt Gingrich.
He's being forced to pound big rocks into little rocks.
Upon seeing Newt in this predicament Clinton cringes
and says, "That looks painful. I don't think this is for
me!"

The second door opens. Behind it is Ted Kennedy.
He is bobbing for automobile parts in a large pool of
dirty water. Grimacing at the filthy scene, Clinton
says, "I don't think so."

The third door opens and behind it is Ken Starr. He's
naked and bound hand and foot. Kneeling before Ken
is Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
"I can handle that!" Clinton proclaims enthusiastically.
"Very well," says Satan. "Monica, you may go."