[janey_honey at hotmail.com: Fwd: FW: FW: Male sayings]

shaun_oliver at optusnet.com.au shaun_oliver at optusnet.com.au
Sat Nov 2 04:28:41 EST 2002

now, I've seen woman bashing but done by a woman? hmmmm.

----- Forwarded
message from janey reynolds <janey_honey at hotmail.com> -----

From: "janey reynolds" <janey_honey at hotmail.com>
Date: Sat, 02 Nov 2002 10:43:03 +1030

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
>> > > > >--------------------
Why is a Laundrette a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a
woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be
able to support you.
>> > > > >--------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand
closer to the kitchen sink.
>> > > > >--------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
>> > > > >--------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
>> > > > >--------------------
Why do men break wind more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
>> > > > >--------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
>> > > > >--------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
>> > > > >--------------------
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
>> > > > >--------------------
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt
>> > > > >--------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive
by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
>> > > > >--------------------
Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
>> > > > >--------------------
Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"
>> > > > >--------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created
Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man
has rested.
>> > > > >--------------------
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
>> > > > >--------------------
A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and
said, "I haven't eaten anything for days." She looked at him and said,
"God, I wish I had your willpower."
>> > > > >--------------------
Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
>> > > > >--------------------
A man inserted an advertisement in the classified:
Wife Wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said
the same thing:
"You can have mine."
>> > > > >--------------------
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
>> > > > >--------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street
with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.

Internet access plans that fit your lifestyle -- join MSN. 

----- End forwarded message -----

Shaun Oliver

 It's multiple choice time...
      What is FORTRAN?
      a: Between thre and fiv tran.
      b: What two computers engage in before they interface.
      c: Ridiculous.

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