ok this is off topic but who needs a laugh?Warning - really bad jokes !!! I know you wiil like these Ha Ha (fwd)

[Shaun Oliver]

Shaun..
"Has anyone ever tasted an "END"? Are they really bitter?"
EMAIL: shauno at goanna.net.au ICQ: 76958435
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---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Mon, 21 May 2001 09:18:46 +1100
From: Paul Bailey <Paul_Bailey at COLPAL.COM>
To: Shaun Oliver <shauno at goanna.net.au>
Subject: Warning - really bad jokes !!! I know you wiil like these Ha Ha



 Subject: Warning - really bad jokes !!!
  Man goes to the doc, with a strawberry growing  out of his head.
  Doc says "I'll give you  some cream to put on it."
  --------------------------------------------------------------------
 "Doc, I can't stop singing the green green  grass of home."
  "That sounds like Tom  Jones syndrome. "
 "Is it common?
 "It's not unusual."
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------
 A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only  clingfilm for
 shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're  nuts."
> > >  --------------------------------------------------------------------
> > >  A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
> > >  "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can  do for him? "
> > >  "Well," says the vet,  "let's have a look at him"
> > >  So he picks  the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his
> >  >  teeth.
> > >  Finally, he says "I'm  going to have to put him down."
> > >  "What?  Because he's cross-eyed? "
> > >  "No, because  he's really heavy"
> > >  ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> > >  Guy goes into the doctor's.
> > >  "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside
> > >  "How's that?"
> >  >  "Don't you start"
> > >  ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> > >
> > >  Two elephants  walk off a cliff...... boom boom!
> > >  ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> > >  What do you call a fish with no eyes?
> > >  A fsh.
> > >  ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> > >  Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are  Chinese. And there
> > >  are 5 people in my  family, so it must be one of them. It's
> > >   either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger
> > >  brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's  Colin.
> > >
> > >  ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> > >  So I was getting into my car, and this bloke  says to me "Can you
> > >  give me a lift?" I  said "Sure, you look great, the world's your
> >  >  oyster, go for it.'
> > >
> > >  ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> > >  Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other  "your round."
> > >  The other one says "so are  you, you fat bast**d!"
> > >
> > >  ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> > >  Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to  the
> > >  other "Does this taste funny to  you?"
> > >
> > >  ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> > >  Two prostitutes standing on a street  corner.
> > >  One says to the other, "have you  ever been picked up by the
> > >  fuzz?"
> > >  The other replies, "No, but I've been swung  around by the boobs!"
> > >
> > >  ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> > >  Police arrested two kids yesterday, one  was
> > >  drinking battery acid, the other was  eating fireworks.
> > >  They charged one and  let the other one off.
> > >  ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> > >  "You know, somebody actually complimented me on  my driving today.
> > >  They left a little  note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'
> >  >  So that was nice."
> > >  ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> > >  A man walked into the doctors, he said "I've  hurt my arm in several
> > >  places"
> > >  The doctor said "well don't go there any  more"
> > >
> > >  ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> > >  My dog was really barking at everyone the other  day. Still, what
> > >  can you expect from a  cross-breed.
> > >
> > >  ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> > >  I went to buy some camoflage trousers the other  day but I
> > >  couldn't find any.
> > >
> > >  ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> > >  I went to the butchers the other day and I bet  him 50 quid
> > >  that he couldn't reach the  meat off the top shelf. And he
> > >  said,  'no, the steaks are too high.'
> > >
> > >
> > >
> >
> >
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