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Sat Dec 1 16:17:50 EST 2012

                   Mistaken Rapture Kills Arkansas Woman
                              by Elroy Willis
   -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping through her
   moving car's sun roof during an incident best described as a "mistaken
   rapture" by dozens of eye witnesses.
   Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile-up resulted
   from people trying to avoid hitting the woman who was apparently
   convinced that the rapture was occurring when she saw twelve people
   floating up into the air, and then passed a man on the side of the
   road who she claimed was Jesus.
   "She started screaming "He's back!, He's back!" and climbed right out
   of the sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car," said Everet
   Williams, husband of 28-year-old Georgann Williams who was pronounced
   dead at the scene.
   "I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait till I stopped," Willams
   said. She thought the rapture was happening and was convinced that
   Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky," he went on to say.
   "This is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been on the force,"
   said Paul Madison, first officer on the scene.
   Madison questioned the man who looked like Jesus and discovered that
   he was on his way to a toga costume party, when the tarp covering the
   bed of his pickup truck came loose and released twelve blow-up sex
   dolls filled with helium which then floated up into the air.
   Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who's been told by several of his
   friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into
   the air in frustration, and said "Come back," just as the Williams'
   car passed him, and Mrs. Williams was sure that it was Jesus lifting
   people up into the sky as they passed by him, according to her
   husband, who says his wife loved Jesus more than anything else.
   When asked for comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins replied
   "This is all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like
   this to happen."

Buddy Brannan, KB5ELV    | From the pines down to the projects,
Email: davros at | Life pushes up through the cracks.
Phone: (972) 276-6360    | And it's only going forward,
ICQ: 36621210            | And it's never going back.--Small Potatoes

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