The Jolly Swagman

[Kirk Reiser]

The Jolly Swagman 

A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St
Peter met her at the Pearly Gates.  'I'm sorry,' St Peter said; 'But
Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been
forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden
of Heavenly Arrivals.'

'That's cool' said the blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?'

'Just three questions' said St Peter.

'Which are?' asked the blonde.

'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with
the letter 'T' '? The second is 'How many seconds are there in a
year?' The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing
Matilda?'

'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and
when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for
me.'

So the blonde went away and gave those three questions some
considerable thought (I expect you to do the same).

The following morning, St Peter called upon the blonde and asked if
she had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.'

'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the
letter T?'

The blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow.'

St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed
the answer can be applied to the question.

'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three
questions?'  St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?'

The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!'

'Only twelve?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that
figure?'

'Easy,' said the blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of
February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of
twelve seconds.'

St Peter looked at the blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider
your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away
shaking his head.

A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the
answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question
absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the
answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest
to answer.'

'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?'

'It's Andy.'

'Andy??'

'Yes, Andy,' said the blonde.

This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that,
deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any
longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you
arrive at THAT answer?'

'Easy' said the blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited til his
Billy boiled.'

And the blonde entered Heaven... 

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What's worse I bet you are now singing it to yourself!!!!!!