variety

[Kirk Reiser]

Statistical Findings: 
10% of the women had sex within the first hour of 
their first date 
20% of the men had sex in a non-traditional place 
36% of the women favor nudity 
45% of the women prefer dark men with blue eyes 
46% of the women experienced anal sex 
70% of the women prefer sex in the morning 
80% of the men have never experienced homosexual 
relations 
90% of the women would like to have sex in the forest 
99% of the women have never experienced sex in the 
office. 
Conclusion: 
Statistically speaking, you have a better chance of 
having anal sex in 
the morning with a strange woman in the forest than to

have sex in the 
office at the end of the day. 
Moral: 
Do not stay late in the office. Nothing good will ever
come of it! 
----------------------------------------------------------

There are at least EIGHT types of ORGASM of a WOMAN.

1. The Optimist - Oh Yes, Oh Yes, Oh 
Yes..................

2. The Pessimist - Oh No, Oh No, Oh 
No....................

3. The Confused - Oh Yes, Oh No, Oh Yes, Oh 
No............

4. The Traveler - Ahh, I'm coming, I'm 
coming.............

5. The Religious - Oh God, Oh 
God.........................

6. The Userer - Ahh, More, More, 
More.....................

7. The Murderer - Ahh, If you take it out, I'll kill you...

8. The Submariner - Mmm...OHHH...Deeper...Go DEEPER !!

-----------------------------------------------------------

After her fifth child, Lucy decided that she should
have some cosmetic surgery "down below" to restore
herself to her former youthful glory. Time and
childbirth had taken its toll and she reckoned that,
with five children now being the limit, she'd tidy
things with a nip here and a tuck there. Following the
operation she awoke from her anesthetic to find three
roses at the end of the bed. Who are these from ?" she
asked the nurse, "They're very nice but I'm a bit
confused as to why I've received them." "Well" said
the nurse, "The first is from the surgeon - the
operation went so well and you were such a model
patient that he wanted to say thanks." "Ahhh, thats
really nice" said Lucy. "The second is from your
husband - he's delighted the operation was such a
success that he can't wait to get you home. Apparently
it'll be the first time he's touched the sides for
years and he's very excited!" "Brilliant!" said Lucy.
"And the third?" "Thats from Eric in the burns unit"
said the nurse. "He just wanted to say thanks for his
new ears!"