Do you speak Quebecois???

[Dawes, Stephen]

Prelude
   For our friends who are not Canadian.
   Quebec is a province in central Canada.
   In parts of Quebec the people speak a form of French / English called
       "Quebecois".
   These people are sometimes called "Quebecois".
   Alberta is a province in Western Canada.
   The people from Alberta are believed to be somewhat redneck by the 
      rest of Canadians.
   There is often no love lost between Quebec & Alberta.
   Enough with the history of Canada, and now for the story!



An Alberta construction site boss was interviewing men for a job,
when along came a Quebecois.
"I'm not hiring any Quebecers," 
the foreman thought to himself, so he made up a test hoping that the
Quebecois wouldn't
be able to answer the questions, and he'd be able to refuse him the job
without getting into an argument.

"Here's your first question," the foreman said. "Without using numbers,
represent the number 9."

"Without numbers?" the Quebecois says. "Dat is easy!" 

and he proceeds to draw three trees.

"What's this?" the boss asks.

"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine." Says the
Quebecer.

"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here is your second question. Use the
same rules, but this time the number is 99."

The Quebecois stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture
that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree.

"'Ere you go."

The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to
represent 99?"

"Each of da trees is dirty now! So it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and
dirty tree. Dat is 99."

The boss is getting worried he's going to have to hire him, so he says,
"Alright, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number
100."

The Quebecer stares into space again, then he picks up the picture again
and makes a little mark at the base of each tree, and says, "Ere you go.
One 'undred."

The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that
represents a hundred."

The Quebecois leans forward and points to the marks at the tree bases,
and says "A little dog come along and crap by each tree, so now you've
got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a
turd, which make one 'undred. So when do I start?"