Drivers

[A. R. M.]

Fir all u Canadians out der...

     HOW TO IDENTIFY WHERE A DRIVER IS FROM:

      1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: MONTREAL
      2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: TORONTO
      3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes
         of traffic: OTTAWA
      4. One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, cradling cell phone,
         balancing Tim Horton's coffee on knee, foot solidly on accelerator:
CALGARY
      5. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, and both feet on brake, quivering
         in terror: SASKATOON, but driving in TORONTO
      6. Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned
         to talk to someone in the back seat: QUEBEC CITY
      7. One hand on 12 oz. double shot latte, one knee on wheel, cradling
         cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on
         steering wheel while stuck in traffic: VANCOUVER
      8. One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between
         both feet being on the brake and both feet on the accelerator
         throwing McDonald's bag out the window: RED DEER
      9. Four wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window,
beer
         cans on the floor, raccoon tails attached to the antenna: PRINCE
GEORGE
     10. Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield
          driving 40 km/hr on Hwy 1 in the left lane with the left blinker
          on: VICTORIA

      AND THE BEST ONE OF ALL:

     11. One ski-doo mitt on steering wheel, one ski-doo mitt scraper in
         hand out front window scraping frost, Guess Who on 8 track playing
         Share The Land, hockey equipment smelling up car interior, waiting
         at lights for snow removal equipment to finish clearing
         intersection: WINNIPEG