Loss of an old friend.

[Kwatson]

It is my sad duty to report that the Pillsbury doughboy died yesterday
of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly.
He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a slightly greased coffin. Dozens of
celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, Betty
Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, Captain Crunch and many others. The
graveside was piled high with flours as long time friend Aunt Jemima
delivered the eulogy describing Doughboy as a man who "never knew how
much he was kneaded." Doughboy rose quickly in show business but his later
life was filled with many turnovers . He was not considered a very smart
cookie wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even a a
crusty old man, he is a roll model for millions. Doughboy is survived by
his second wife, Play Dough. They have two children and one in the oven.
The funeral was held at 350 for 20 minutes.