Off topic hummor

[Gene Collins]

While digging around in some very old files, I found this, and since
everyone can use a smile sometimes, I thought I'd pass this along. 
Especially for those of you who used to use an Apple II/E.

Gene


Apple Pie (Sung To Tune Of American Pie)
""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Copyright (c) 1993 by Steven Weyhrich
With Profuse Apologies To Don McLean



                                 Apple Pie
                                 """""""""

                           A long, long time ago,
                  I can still remember how those programs
                           Used to make me smile.
                       And I knew if I had my chance,
                    That I could make those users dance
                   And maybe they'd be happy for a while.
                      November breezes made me shiver
                       With every upload I'd deliver
                          Bad news on the desktop
                       I couldn't make the text stop.
                        I can't remember if I cried
                    When I read about our faltered pride
                    But something touched me deep inside
                           The day the IIe died.

                      So, bye, bye to my Apple II pie
                       Hooked my RamFAST to the SCSI
                           But the SCSI was fried
              And hackin' boys drank Mountain Dew and sighed,
                   Typin' "This'll be the day that I die.
                      This'll be the day that I die."

                       Do you know your Apple's core?
                      Do you have faith in Woz's lore
                       If the Red Book tells you so?
                       Do you believe in ROR and ROL
                      Can BASIC save your mortal soul
                And can you tell me why Pascal runs so slow?
                    Well, I know you love that Lisa hack
                    'Cause I saw you mousin' in the back
                        Well, MacWrite was big news
                   But AppleWorks got great reviews, oooh
                   I was a twenty-something computer fan
               With a loaned assembler and some program plans
                    But I knew I'd be just an "also-ran"
                           The day the IIe died.

                             I started singin'
                        Bye, bye to my Apple II pie
                       Hooked my RamFAST to the SCSI
                           But the SCSI was fried
                And hackin' boys drank Cola Jolt and sighed,
                   Typin' "This'll be the day that I die.
                      This'll be the day that I die."

                 Now for twelve years we've been on our own
                     The software comes on my telephone
                      But that's not how it used to be
                When ol' Steve Jobs planned a brand new box
                    With designs he borrowed from Xerox
                 And the cash, well it came from you and me
                   Oh, and while our Woz was looking down
                   Steve Jobs stole his designer's crown
                         The /// plan was adjourned
                           No money was returned
                  And while Wagner wrote "Assembly Lines"
                      We liked our BASIC programs fine
                     And most thought ProDOS was devine
                           The day the IIe died.
                               We were singin'
                        Bye, bye to my Apple II pie
                       Hooked my RamFAST to the SCSI
                           But the SCSI was fried
               And hackin' boys drank Dr. Pepper and sighed,
                   Typin' "This'll be the day that I die.
                      This'll be the day that I die."

                   HUFFIN, PUFFIN, move files with MUFFIN
                  Single drive, lots of disks I'm stuffin'
                    Eight piles high, and fadin' fast...
                     With Macs out landing in the grass
                    The Pirates tried for a forward pass
                   Moving IIe to the sidelines, in a cast
                    Now, the IIc Fair was sweet perfume
                    And "Forever!" was our marching tune
                           We all got up to dance
                      Oh, but we never got the chance
                'Cause the Mac-heads tried to take the field
                      Our Apple II's refused to yield
                      Do you recall what was revealed
                           The day the IIe died?

                             We started singin'
                        Bye, bye to my Apple II pie
                       Hooked my RamFAST to the SCSI
                           But the SCSI was fried
               And hackin' boys drank Diet Pepsi and sighed,
                   Typin' "This'll be the day that I die.
                      This'll be the day that I die."

                     And there we were all in one place
                     An online conference lost in space
                     With no bucks left to start again
                  So come on, Tom be nimble, Tom be quick
                     Uncle-DOS made all our Apples tick
                 'Cause Merlin is the hacker's only friend
                   Oh, and as I watched him on the stage
                  My hands were clenched in fists of rage
                          No one that I could tell
                      Could break that Sculley's spell
               And as the flames climbed high into the night
                       To light the sacrificial rite
                    I saw Sculley laughing with delight
                            The day the IIe died

                               He was singin'
                        Bye, bye to my Apple II pie
                       Hooked my RamFAST to the SCSI
                           But the SCSI was fried
                And hackin' boys drank lemon tea and sighed,
                   Typin' "This'll be the day that I die.
                      This'll be the day that I die."

                       I met a girl who sang of Blues
                    And I asked her for some Apple news
                    But she just smiled and turned away
                        I went to the computer store
                   Where I'd seen the Apple years before
                But the man there said the IIe couldn't play
                  And in the schools the children screamed
                 The teachers cried and the hackers dreamed
                         But not a word was spoken
                       The disk drives all were broken
                 And the news mags that I'd liked the most
                     Softalk, inCider -- were all toast
                They'd grabbed the last train for the coast
                            The day the IIe died

                           And they were singin'
                        Bye, bye to my Apple II pie
                       Hooked my RamFAST to the SCSI
                           But the SCSI was fried
               And hackin' boys drank Snapple soda and cried,
                  Saying, "This'll be the day that I die.
                      This'll be the day that I die."

                             They were singin'
                        Bye, bye to my Apple II pie
                       Hooked my RamFAST to the SCSI
                           But the SCSI was fried
               And hackin' boys drank Snapple soda and cried,
                  Saying, "This'll be the day that I die.
                      This'll be the day that I die."