Here is old age at its best....]

[Kirk Reiser]

                 Here is old age at its best....]

Russ and Sam, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons,
watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.

One day Russ didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and figured
maybe he had a cold or something.. But after Russ hadn't shown up for a week
or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got
together was at the park, Sam didn't know where Russ lived, so he was unable
to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Russ, but one
day, Sam approached the park and -- lo and behold -- there sat Russ! Sam was
very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then he said,'For
crying out loud Russ, what in the world happened to you?'

Russ replied, 'I have been in jail.'

'Jail!' cried Sam. What in the world for?'

'Well,' Russ said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the
coffee shop where I sometimes go?'

'Yeah,' said Sam, 'I remember her. What about her?

'Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years old, I
was so proud that when I got into court, I plead 'guilty'.

'The damn judge gave me 30 days for perjury'.