Trip To Italy

[Kirk Reiser]

Trip to Italy

A young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by
throwing herself into the ocean.

But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man
stopped her.

"You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are off
to Italy tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you,
bring you food every day, and keep you happy."

With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to
go to Italy , the woman accepted. That night the sailor brought her aboard
and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold. From then
on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine,
and make love to her until dawn. Three weeks later she was discovered by the
captain during a routine inspection.

"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings me
food and I get a free trip to Italy ."

"I see," the captain says.

Her conscience got the best of her and she added, "Plus, he's screwing me."

"He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Staten Island Ferry ."