Kirk Reiser kirk at reisers.ca
Mon Sep 27 18:33:48 EDT 2010


   Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina
dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the
checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

   What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have
  little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I
  was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably
  shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd
  lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes
  coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

   I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is
nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it
again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was
now enthralled with my story.)

   Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an
Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

   I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
  laughing so hard.

   Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

   Better watch what you ask retired people.  They have all the time in
the world to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially)
to all your retired friends......it will be their Laugh for the day..

More information about the Ohno mailing list