GIVING THE DEVIL HIS DUE

[Kirk Reiser]

      George Bush has a heart attack and dies.

      Obviously, he goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him.

      "I'm not sure what to do," says the devil. "You're on my list but I 
have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'm going to have 
to let someone else go.

      I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let 
one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let you decide 
who leaves."

      George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.

      The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large 
pool of water. He kept diving in and climbing out, over and over. Such was 
his fate in hell.

      "No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and don't 
think I could do that all day long."

      The devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledge 
hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing the hammer, time after 
time.

      "No!" I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant 
agony if all I could do was break rocks all day." commented George.

      The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying on 
the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a 
spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does 
best.

      George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, 
"Yeah, I can handle this."

      The devil smiled and said, "OK, Monica, you're free to go!"

-- 
Well that's it then, colour me gone!