Things to do at Wal-Mart

[Steve Dawes]

Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their sweet
time:
  
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when
they aren't looking.
  
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.
  
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
  
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3
in housewares" and see what happens.
  
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
  
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
  
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers
you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding
department.
  
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, beg! in to cry and ask, "Why
can't you people just leave me alone?"
  
9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick
your nose.
  
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he
knows where the anti-depressants are.
  
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission
Impossible theme.
  
12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different
size funnels.
  
13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say "PICK ME!"
  
14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal
position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
  
And last, but not least!
  
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then
yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
  
Now send this to people that you know, and ... they will just laugh.