Today's Funny

[A. R. M.]

A man goes up to the minister at the local church. "Reverend," he said,
"we have a problem. My wife keeps falling asleep during your sermons.
It's very embarrassing, not to mention disrespectful. What should I do?"

"I've noticed this and have an idea if you're up to the task," said the
minister. "Take this hat pin with you. I will be able to tell when Mrs.
Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times.  When
motioned, you give her a good poke in the leg.

In church the following Sunday, Mrs. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the
preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for
you?" he said, nodding to Mr. Jones.

"Jesus!" Mrs. Jones cried out as her husband jabbed her in the leg with
the sharp object.

"Yes! You are correct, Mrs. Jones!" came the minister's quick reply.

Soon, Mrs. Jones nodded off again. And again, the minister noticed.

Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning toward Mr. Jones.

"My God!" howled Mrs. Jones as she was stuck again with the pin.

"Right again!" bellowed the minister, a slight grin on his face.

Before long, Mrs. Jones again winked off. However, this time the Minister
did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few
hand gestures that Mr. Jones mistook as signals to sharply poke his Wife
with the hat pin yet again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him His
99th son?" As Mrs. Jones screamed, "You stick that thing in me one more
time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen!" replied all the women in the congregation.