Forwarder's 12 Step Program

[A. R. M.]

THE "FORWARDER'S" 12 STEP PROGRAM.

Everyone say it with me...

1. I will NOT get bad luck, lose my friends,
or lose my mailing lists if I don't forward 
an e-mail.

2. I will NOT hear any music or see a taco
dog, if I do forward an e-mail.

3. Bill Gates is NOT going to send me money
and Victoria Secret doesn't
know anything about a gift certificate
they're supposed to send me.

4. Ford will NOT give me a 50% discount even
if I forward my e-mail to more than 50 people.

5. I will NEVER receive gift certificates,
coupons, or freebies from Coca Cola,
Cracker Barrel, Old Navy, or anyone else if I
send an e-mail to 10 people.

6. I will NEVER see a pop-up window if I
forward an e-mail ... NEVER -- EVER!!

7. There is NO SUCH THING as an e-mail
tracking program, and I am not
STUPID enough to think that someone will send
me $100 for forwarding an e-mail to 10 or more people!

8. There is NO kid with cancer through the
Make-a-Wish program in England collecting anything! He
did when he was 7 years old. He is now
cancer free and 35 years old and DOESN'T WANT
ANY MORE POST CARDS, or GET-WELL CARDS.

9. The government does not have a bill in
Congress called 901B (or whatever they named it this
week) that, if passed, will enable them to charge
us 5 cents for every e-mail we send.

10. There will be NO cool dancing, singing,
waving, colorful flowers, characters, or program that
I will receive immediately after I
forward an e-mail. NONE, ZIP, ZERO, NADA!

11. The American Red Cross will NOT donate 50
cents to a certain individual dying of some 
never-heard-of disease for every e-mail address 
I send this to. The American Red Cross RECEIVES
donations.

12. And finally, I WILL NOT let others guilt
me into sending things by telling me
I am not their friend or that I don't believe
in Jesus Christ.  If God wants to send
me a message, He will send it Himself!

Now, repeat the above to yourself until you
have it memorized, and
send it along to at least 5 of your friends 
before the next full moon or 
you will surely be constipated for 
the next three months.