Lisa Marie Presley

Dawes, Stephen Stephen.Dawes at
Thu Aug 22 13:17:17 EDT 2002

In the non-news department, Lisa Marie Presley, daughter of Elvis and ex-wife of Michael Jackson, recently tied the knot with actor Nicolas Cage.

               The Top 15 Differences Being Married
                to Nicolas Cage vs. Michael Jackson

15> "Our song" is no longer "A Whiter Shade of Pale."

14> Nicolas's darker skin tone better compliments Lisa's

13> With Nicolas, "gallon of bleach" isn't on the shopping list
    every friggin' week.

12> Now every time Lisa Marie hums a Beatles tune, she has to 
    pay alimony.

11> No longer able to share underwear.

10> Nicolas appeared in "Face/Off."
    Michael is appearing in "Face/Odd."

 9> Cage: Wants to have kids with Lisa Marie.
    Jackson: Wants to have kids instead of Lisa Marie.

 8> Nicolas Cage?  Caucasian.
    Michael Jackson?  Passed that a few shades back.

 7> Requests for "hot monkey love" aren't nearly as creepy this
    time around.

 6> Nicolas: Had sex with Patricia Arquette.
    Michael: Had sex with <<COURT RECORDS SEALED>>

 5> White make-up on the throw pillows replaced by strands of hair.

 4> Nicolas doesn't think that "make a pact" rhymes with
    "salvation back."

 3> Cage: Likes to get freaky after a bit of the bubbly.
    Jacko: Likes to get freaky with Bubbles.

 2> No need to adjust Nicolas's nose back into the correct
    position after kissing him.

           and's Number 1 Difference Being
          Married to Nicolas Cage vs. Michael Jackson...

 1> With the monkey out of the picture, it's harder to pass
	    the buck after a poo-flinging fit.

Steve Dawes
PH:  (403) 268-5527. 
Mailto:  sdawes at 

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