Lisa Marie Presley
Dawes, Stephen
Stephen.Dawes at gov.calgary.ab.ca
Thu Aug 22 13:17:17 EDT 2002
In the non-news department, Lisa Marie Presley, daughter of Elvis and ex-wife of Michael Jackson, recently tied the knot with actor Nicolas Cage.
The Top 15 Differences Being Married
to Nicolas Cage vs. Michael Jackson
15> "Our song" is no longer "A Whiter Shade of Pale."
14> Nicolas's darker skin tone better compliments Lisa's
complexion.
13> With Nicolas, "gallon of bleach" isn't on the shopping list
every friggin' week.
12> Now every time Lisa Marie hums a Beatles tune, she has to
pay alimony.
11> No longer able to share underwear.
10> Nicolas appeared in "Face/Off."
Michael is appearing in "Face/Odd."
9> Cage: Wants to have kids with Lisa Marie.
Jackson: Wants to have kids instead of Lisa Marie.
8> Nicolas Cage? Caucasian.
Michael Jackson? Passed that a few shades back.
7> Requests for "hot monkey love" aren't nearly as creepy this
time around.
6> Nicolas: Had sex with Patricia Arquette.
Michael: Had sex with <<COURT RECORDS SEALED>>
5> White make-up on the throw pillows replaced by strands of hair.
4> Nicolas doesn't think that "make a pact" rhymes with
"salvation back."
3> Cage: Likes to get freaky after a bit of the bubbly.
Jacko: Likes to get freaky with Bubbles.
2> No need to adjust Nicolas's nose back into the correct
position after kissing him.
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Difference Being
Married to Nicolas Cage vs. Michael Jackson...
1> With the monkey out of the picture, it's harder to pass
the buck after a poo-flinging fit.
Steve Dawes
PH: (403) 268-5527.
Mailto: sdawes at gov.calgary.ab.ca
More information about the Ohno
mailing list