Top 15 Things on the Taco Bell Chihuahua's To-Do List
Stephen.Dawes at gov.calgary.ab.ca
Wed Aug 14 12:23:12 EDT 2002
Taco Bell has decide to drop the talking Chihuahua
("Yo quiero Taco Bell") from its advertising,
due to lagging sales and a management shake-up.
So what's the little pooch going to do next?
The Top 15 Things on the Taco Bell Chihuahua's To-Do List
1. Check into the Betty Ford Center to kick that nasty Snausage addiction.
2. Call up Joe Camel, Spuds McKenzie and Morris the Cat; Drown sorrows at happy hour.
3. Shopping list: Milk, butter, eggs, Lassie movies, hand lotion.
4. Pitch new "Who Wants To Do It Doggie Style?" game show idea to those morons at FOX.
5. Release Godzilla from his toothy grasp.
6. Just like any other actor: A quick trip to the casting couch for a little butt sniffing and leg humping, then right back to work.
7. Finally enjoy a Whopper with Cheese in public without having to wear that stupid cat disguise.
8. Bite agent's ass? Check. Bite client's ass? Check.
Bite Jennifer Lopez's ass? Ay, Chihuahua!
9. Yo quiero poodle bitch in heat.
10. A romantic getaway with Speedy Gonzalez, now that all the media scrutiny is subsiding.
11. Fulfill his lifelong fantasy: Land a guest spot on The Larry King Show, then pee on Larry's leg.
12. Leave a special homemade "Chalupa" on that annoying Pepsi girl's front porch.
13. Hump the eyes right off of that Pets.com sock puppet.
14. Lap up Jose Cuervo by the bowlful to wipe out that lingering Chalupa taste.
and the Number 1 Thing on the Taco Bell Chihuahua's To-Do List...
15. Catch up on some badly needed scrotum-licking.
PH: (403) 268-5527.
Mailto: sdawes at gov.calgary.ab.ca
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