My Name is Fred

Kirk Reiser kirk at
Thu May 3 07:23:23 EDT 2001

A local law enforcement officer stopped a car for
traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he
was in a good mood that day he decided to give
the poor fellow a break and write him out a warning
instead of a ticket.  So, he asks the man his name.

"Fred" he replies.

"Fred what?" the officer asks.

"Just Fred" the man responds.

When the officer presses him for a last name, the man
tells him that he used to have a last name but lost
it. The officer thinks he has a nutcase on his hands
but plays along with it.  "Tell me Fred, how did you
lose your last name?"

The man replies... "It's a long story so stay with me.
I was born Fred Dingaling. I know, funny last name.
The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to
myself. I studied hard and got good grades.  When I
got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I
went through school, college, medical school,
internship, residency, finally got my degree so I was
Dingaling, MD.

"After a while I got bored being a doctor so I decided
to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream. Got all
the way through school, got my degree so I was now
Fred Dingaling MD DDS. Got bored doing dentistry so I
started fooling around with my assistant. She gave me
VD. So, I was Fred Dingaling MD DDS with VD".

"Well, the ADA found out about the VD so they took
away my DDS so I was Fred Dingaling MD with VD. Then
the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS
because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me
as Fred Dingaling with VD.  Then the VD took away my
dingaling so now I'm just Fred."

The officer let him go without even a warning.

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