the moral of the story

[Kirk Reiser]

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their
parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.  The next
day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories

Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying
hens.  One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the
front seat of the pickup when we hit a big bump in the road and all
the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."

"And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.  "Don't put
all your eggs in one basket!"  "Very good," said the teacher.

Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers
too.  But we raise chickens for the meat market.  We had a dozen eggs
one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the
moral to this story is, "don't count your chickens before they're
hatched."

"That was a fine story Sarah."  "Michael, do you have a story to
share?"

"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen.

Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in Desert Storm and her plane got
hit.  She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a
bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete.  She drank the whiskey
on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the
middle of 100 enemy troops.  She killed seventy of them with the
machine gun until she ran out of bullets.  Then she killed twenty more
with the machete till the blade broke.  And then she killed the last
ten with her bare hands.

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did
your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"

"Stay the Hell away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking."