And these people are allowed out in public?

[Buddy Brannan]

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh!

----- Forwarded message from Arielle Silverman <arielles at MINDSPRING.COM> -----

To: HANDS at MAELSTROM.STJOHNS.EDU

I'm sorry, please disregard that last e-mail. My computer screwed up the
forward. Here it is again.

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an
order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
"We don't have half dozen nuggets", said the teenager at the counter. "You
don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I
can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I
shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was checking out at the local Foodland with just a few items and the lady
behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those
"dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our
things so they wouldn't get mixed.  After the girl had scanned all of my
items, she picked up the divider,  looking it all over for the bar code so
she could scan it. Not finding the bar code, she said to me "Do you know how
much this is?" I said, "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that
today".  She said  "OK" and I paid her for the things and left. She had no
clue what had just happened.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and
pulling it out very quickly. When asked what she was doing, she said she  was
 shopping on the internet and they asked for a credit card number, so she
was  using the "ATM thingy".
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need
some help?" I asked.  She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery
to this remote door  unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they
(pointing to a  distant
convenient store)  would have a battery to fit this?"  "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you
have an alarm too?" I asked.  "No, just this remote thingy," she answered,
handing it and the car keys to  me.  As I took the key and manually unlocked
the door, I said, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the
batteries? It's a long walk."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I have actually done this"

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she
was
typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper.
What do I do?"  "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her.
With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of typing paper,
put it on the photocopier and
 proceeded to make five copies.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed
into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and
the
whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister". I asked the  manager
 what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control"
and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sign in a gas station: Coke -- 49 cents. Two for a dollar.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a
large bank.  Employees in the field call him when they have problems with
their  computers.  One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch
banks who had  this  question:
"I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a  a
fire  downtown?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was sitting in my science class when the teacher commented that the next
day would be the shortest day of the year. My lab partner became visibly
excited, cheering and clapping. I explained to her that the amount of
daylight changes, not the actual amount of time. Needless
to say, she was  very disappointed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal
colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a
 photocopy machine.  The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and
police pressed the  copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't
telling the truth.  Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect
confessed.




Have an absolutely wonderful day!

Arielle

Email: arielles at mindspring.com
Screen name: arielle840 (AIM)

----- End forwarded message -----

-- 
Buddy Brannan, KB5ELV    | I choose you to take up all of my time.
Email: davros at ycardz.com | I choose you because you're funny and kind
Phone: (972) 276-6360    | I want easy people from now on.
                         | --the Nields